Friday 24 April 2015

I've been surrounded. Let the awkwardness comence

Now, I don't claim to be any sort of life guru or live with zen and peace in my life. Quite the opposite, my motto is 'live by the sword drama die by the drama.'
BUT
I want to discuss a situation with you darling little lemon squares. Think of three different people you'd hate to run into, people that you may have never even met and yet your hate fire is fuelled strong for them... Now IMAGINE running into all three on the same day. at the same time. at the same place.




HUSH MY BABIES MAISIE'S HERE DONT WORRY. So yeah basically this happened to me, a friends birthday lunch in the cutest little cafe, we are all chatting and laughing not knowing my life was about to get that much more awkward (I know, I didn't think it was possible either) BUT into the cafe walks suspect number one... 
  1.  The guy I went on three dates with a few months ago who still leaves me weird messages, and 'accidental' phone calls.- Okay, so things fizzled out on my end but he seems to not understand that "Goodbye forever!" Quite literally means, goodbye forever...                                          So he walks in and it feels like the room sort of hushes, being the upfront girl I am I... decide to hide in my drink and even consider putting my sunglasses back on (Not to obvious right?) BUT anyway this is me right now                               

                       Yeah deer in headlights, after three months of almost ninja like avoidance the moment has come. Don't be too on the edge of your seat, my ninja training pays off and he lurks at the bar having not clocked me yet. OF COURSE my friends are true darling and decide to giggle and whisper, until he turns around and sees me 'Don't say hi DO NOT YOU DARE say hi' says my brain. The gods of valhalla heard my prayer and thankfully he doesn't. Oooooohhhh no instead he does the really awkward smile and half wave mouthing of the word "Hey." Then picking up his drink and heading on upstairs. I feel his eyes bore into the back of my head like lasers decapitating me where I sit.  But I finally breathe out... For now (dun dun dun)
SO THE MEAL CONTINUES MUCH LAUGHTER AND ALCOHOL CONSUMED, and then in walks 
      2. The girl you're fake friends with and didn't invite due to it being a really long week and you having none of the energy to listen to her complain about her less than mediocre life problems.... - Don't look at me like that I didn't not invite her, but then again I didn't invite her. Opps... SO in she walks and again the room which is already at subzero temperatures while it almost being tropical outside, gets just that little bit colder again. SMITE ME WHERE I SIT THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ONE PETITE DRAMATIC BLOGGER TO HANDLE ALONE. I want to hide assassins creed style ...
  ANYWAY how to deal with this situation? SHE approaches with a grin, like one of those creepy cat clocks. "Oh my godddd, hey you lot didn't know we were doing drinks today?" This is followed by a silence that seems to last for about four years. No one is able to say "We didn't tell you cause we cant actually stand yo" NO we just sit there looking well shifty and saying stuff like; "Oh no it was unplanned"...."Oh I text you didn't you get it?" 
             I want to just melt, like can we just not do this awkward polite secretly not very nice dance please. But she nods, smiles some more and then PULLS UP A CHAIR and starts ranting about a guy she has been dating who doesn't text her back straight away when she texts him but waits an hour to reply. I JUST CAN NOT SMILE ANY LONGER MY WILL TO LIVE IS EBBING AWAY
BUT I am here for a friends birthday so i deal with it just about, and I mean literally fists clenched nodding away because I'm scared if I say anything it'll just be a "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP SHUT UP." So I remain quiet doing my breathing exercises in my head (yeah i dont know how that works either)... Until

3. The guy that you're currently datings ex girlfriend walks in... WHO might i add also happens to live with him.- I'm not going to even say what I felt here. BUT in short I got up and left very promptly tail very much between my legs and sunglasses over my face to hide my identity.

    Overall a very interesting lunch, is the universe trying to tell me something?! Punish me perhaps? Anyone? hello... *crickets*

OH SO ANYWAY, thanks for reading my little Flamingos I hope your week was a darn sight better than mine! Sending good vibes and love to you all... EAT YOUR GREENS THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOU! Always
                                                        M xxx


Maisie is lalalalaloving:
  • Radio One-  It is literally how I wake up in the morning, thank you Grimmy you're pulling me through here.
  • fancy coloured pens- making revision that little bit more fun (ish) and who doesn't love colour coordination am I right?
  • Fresh bedding - Just that delicious feeling of fresh sheets on your skin, never ever overrated.
  • Scrunchies - So 90s but so much kinder to my bonce than hair bobbles.
  • White chocolate - In my opinion the greatest of all the chocolates.

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